You are not living the life of your dreams because of YOU.

Isn’t it liberating? That you are in complete control of your fate?

I mean, circumstances are real, so as your emotions. But the thing is, if you keep blaming anything outside of you, the only outcome you can get is the one that you have been getting.

Playing the victim keeps you the victim. Not good.

Yes, some people, like your parents or spouse or friends, may be against you for realising your dreams- but you’re the one who chose to listen to them.

Yes, your current financial status may not allow you to immediately quit your job and start your own business- but it’s your fault that you chose not to plan your exit.

Yes, your past may be very traumatic make you fear of trying anything new- but it’s your mistake to choose not to heal yourself and outgrow from that.

It’s harsh, but it’s real.

If you don’t swallow the hard pill, your life will be even harder.

Responsibility is power

When you choose not to take responsibility for your past, you simultaneously give away your power to create your future.

If your past isn’t the result of your decisions, then by the same logic, your future isn’t within your control.

By thinking in this way, you put yourself in such a helpless position that “you can do nothing about it”.

You keep playing the victim and let shxt keep happening to you.

Your parents look down on you.

Your friends betray you.

Your love relationships went south.

Your career crashes.

You lose confidence and get frustrated like an uninflated ballon.

And all you’re saying is “Oh, what can I do about it? The world is just unfair, I am just unlucky.”

What the fuxk??

Are you really that helpless, or are you just fuxking lazy?

Is watching your life tearing down day by day while you’re rotting away with aging fun to you??

Is watching your potential going to waste and nothing in the world have gotten better because of your presence interesting to you?

Is watching the dreams of your younger self shatter making you happy??

Fuxk no.

In the following sections, I’m going to show you what you have to realise in order to take back your life’s control and start creating the life of your dreams.

1) Life is temporary

I don’t know how you feel, but the first time I was introduced to this concept, I was kind of shocked.

As stupid as it may seem, many of us don’t really understand that we will not leave this earth alive.

We thought life is “infinite” when it’s just as short as around 8 decades in general.

It’s 29,200 days.

4160 weeks.

960 months.

How many days, weeks, months have you ALREADY spent?

How many days, weeks, months do you STILL HAVE?

How much more do you want to do, to achieve, to create on this earth?

Do you really think you “still have time”, and don’t need to “rush to start”?

The effort you invest is like a seed. It takes time to grow into a tree.

You must invest at an early state to get the harvest within your lifetime.

No matter what you do, a minute, a day, a month, a year, passes by.

Be very selective at what you spend your life at.

2) You create your reality.

Just like the first, I was shocked when I first heard this.

I thought there is something like fate or destiny that controls everyone’s life, like everyone is “born to be” something, decided even before the person was born.

Hm, no. Unless you aren’t conscious about it yet (but now you do).

Your outcome is the result of the series of decisions you’ve made in your entire life.

I am not saying that you are responsible for what stupid people have did to you in your life, but you must realise that what matters more than what has happened to you, is how you responded to it.

Researches show that most serial killers have a traumatic childhood. They reacted to that by killing innocent people to give their “revenge” to society.

However, if you’ve studied the background of the most successful people, it’s not uncommon that they didn’t come from a happy family, if not come from an abusive one.

It’s a matter of response.

Having a sad past is hard, but you are the one who chose to make your life even harder by ruining your (if not other’s) present and future.

3) No one is coming to save you.

You may be waiting for something to happen, someone to come, so your life can start to change for the better.

However, the truth is nothing is gonna happen, and no one is coming to save you.

You cannot expect your reality to change if you don’t change.

It just doesn’t make sense.

And you know what doesn’t make sense too?

You expecting someone to care about you when you don’t even care about yourself enough to start fixing your life.

I’m sorry to tell, but literally no one cares about you.

Everyone is so consumed in their problems and their own lives. You are the least of their concerns.

You aren’t worthy of their attention if you aren’t providing them with anything valuable.

Yes, some people may pity you for your story, but no one can stand listening to your problems over and over.

Then you continue to tell your story to more and more different people, because you need that validation and pity, to fulfil your psychological need.

Which brings us to the next point.

4) The one you are looking for, is you.

Why are you looking outward, when the problem is inside of you?

The void you’re trying to fill with other people’s validation, pity, love, attention, can only be filled by YOU.

That’s why you keep seeking validation yet still don’t truly feel validated.

You need YOUR validation, for god’s sake.

The reason you’re looking outside is because you want a quick fix.

You don’t want to make any changes in your life but your current life just can’t fulfil your desires.

So you try to look outward and seek for immediate validation so you feel relieved (without needing to go through any pain in changing your life).

What can I say about this is you are not an idiot.

You know, deep down, how unfulfiled you are with this current life of yours.

No matter how many people tell you “it’s ok”, “you are good enough”, if you don’t think so, you will never think so.

YOU NEED YOU. YOUR validation.

Stop fooling yourself with other people’s.

If you want to feel fulfiled, you have to make yourself and your life satisfactory to you, not other people.

Just like the government’s order, the only option you have toward your desires, is “obey”.

5) Changes start from the inside.

People may tell you, start from your health, start from your physical appearance, whatever, which is nice, but from my personal experience, you need to start from your mind.

All of your thoughts, your actions, your decisions, your feelings stem from it.

If you get the mind right, everything else automatically resolves.

If you realise how detrimental your current lifestyle is to your health (through self-education- you have the internet), you can’t continue doing it without pain. So, you’ll stop doing it.

If you realise how you are going nowhere if you aren’t changing your current way of living and you genuinely want that dream life of yours, you can’t help but to change.

If you realise how you’re ruining your relationships by being insecure and desperate, you will be forced to study and train yourself to become a more confident and detached person.

Start with “why”.

Why do I have to go to the gym? How does it benefit me? My mind, my health, my energy level?

Don’t just do anything because people tell you it’s good, or because of some superficial pursuit like a nice physique- which is also important- but if you don’t have any other strong reasons that support your decision, it’s hard to be consistent, especially after your progress starts to slow after “newbie gains”.

If you change your mind, you change your life.

I did not say that lightly. Drill that into your head.

Any problem you encounter, can be traced back to the mind.

Even if you just take this one concept away, your life can drastically change.

6) Develop self-reliance at all costs.

Never depend on anyone or anything for your happiness or success.

The only person that is reliable, is you.

I do not care how caring or loving your spouse, friends, or whoever is to you.

You are the only person who will never leave you, and hopefully never betray you (by allowing you to continue living as a sucker, going to toxic people, blaming everyone and everything except yourself).

Credit yourself more. Develop you more (your mind and your body).

Read more books.

Watch educational youtube videos.

Journal (to understand yourself, heal your wounds, and examine your emotions).

Work out, do some exercise.

Eat cleaner and healthier (you have one vessel- make sure you keep it nourished).

Take care of yourself, like your hygiene and basic manners.

Don’t do anything for anyone, but just do these things because you respect yourself and are grateful for having a life.

Become the master of your life

You have everything you need.

You have time (you’re still alive).

You are aware (you are reading this article to help yourself, which already makes you far ahead from everyone who isn’t into self-improvement).

You have potential (everyone has, and I would argue it’s infinite. It is only limited by your mind and your skills (productivity)).

You just need to take action.

Yes, it could be fearful and confusing.

But if you want a different life, you gonna do different things.

If you start, you will make mistakes, you will suck, you will fail, you will face lots of negative emotions (especially if you’re actively healing yourself from your past traumas).

But if you persist and iterate, keep refining your process and keep your eye on your vision- you will succeed.

You will become that person you dreamed to be.

You will. It’s inevitable.

Every successful person has gone through these. You are not alone.

And best believe many people are starting their journey right now and will be sharing their stories of success a few years from today.

Be one of them.

That’s all for this one.

Thank you for reading.