Author’s note: If you’re new, I strongly recommend you start from the introduction, then learn the concepts one by one sequentially. By doing so you comprehend the concepts much better and can get the most out of it. Click here to do so.)

Short answer: changing yourself is the only way to feeling better.

As humans our ultimate goal is just to feel good.

• Why did you go the cinema? You want to feel relaxed.
• Why did you go to the restaurant? You want to enjoy nice meals and feel satisfied.
• Why do you want a more stable job? You want the sense of security.
• Why do you have big goals? You want the sense of usefulness.

So, why not? Why don’t you want to feel better, and even better?

There is no upper limit on how great you can feel, anyways.

How can changing you makes you feel better

It exerts its effects in two ways:

• directly, by changing your internal world view and life philosophy, and
• indirectly, by changing your reality.

Changing your world view and life philosophy

Have you ever feel jealous? Defensive? Insecure?

It doesn’t feel good, does it?

But you cannot control that. You can’t help. It’s your immediate, natural response towards some stimuli.

Say, your old classmate shows up with a younger look, better job, bigger house, nicer car. You just can’t help but feel so bad. You wish you could feel happy for him/her; but you can’t. You can only feel the bitterness. You even start to judge him/her. And that feeling and act make you feel even worse because now you also feel guilty, thinking that you are “a bad person”.

This “bad person” triat, however, is not something permanent or unchangeable.

Because our feelings are merely a manifestation of our underlying beliefs.

Let that sink in.

It means that you are feeling in this way because you have a mindset that makes you feel in this way.

For example, one that you don’t believe that you can achieve the same.

You may believe that everything are “assigned” by god and you cannot do anything about it. So you didn’t do anything about it. And that’s the whole reason why you aren’t getting those things! Or, you did put in some effort, but you are either acting against the principles, or your faith is just not strong enough to make you persists long enough, so you aren’t getting it (yet).

Yes, everything does come with some sort of luck; thinking that every success is solely dependent on you is just plain arrogant, and sets yourself up for being an ungrateful person.

That said, luck isn’t everything. It is just part of the system. That is, luck itself isn’t anything if not supported by effort; and if you are willing to put in the effort, luck would come to you as a byproduct. Why? Because by becoming such a great person, you become somebody else’s opportunity- their luck.

So, what you could do is see that classmate as an inspiration instead. Think, “well, if he/she can do it, I can do it too!” and start opening up your mind to find out ways of achieving it (read more on this: Manual for your brain: Believe it to Achieve it).

By understanding success and luck in this way, you will no longer feel jealous towards other people’s successes, but instead start appreciating if not congratulating.

By doing so, you don’t only feel better, you also connect with people more sincerely and at a deeper level, and open up possibilities for you to do the same by stop associating success with something bad as you did when judging people.

If you could change your mindset, you can change your feelings, subsequent actions, and subsequent outcomes.

Isn’t it liberating? That even your your feelings (“natural reactions”) can be changed? That it is possible to get rid of being defensive, jealous, insecure? And start becoming more peaceful, sane, and confident?

What could possibly be a better gift than this?

(If you want to learn more about how what mindsets are causing you those “bad” feelings, click here (coming soon!).)

Changing your reality

First become, then attract.

You cannot change your reality without changing yourself.

Think about it:

• If you want to get fit, you have to change your lifestyle. For example, eat a cleaner diet, do some work out, or at least go for a walk.
• If you want to get love, you have to change yourself from in (mindset) to out (physical appearance). You can’t expect others to care about you while neglecting yourself. That doesn’t make sense. (note: some people argue that “inside matters the most”; but without a good packaging, people just aren’t interested in learning what is inside of you. Don’t shoot the messenger!)
• If you want to get career success, you have to change your way of doing things (or at least “worker harder/more”… although this is probably the worst strategy. learn more here.). Learn productivity principles; like the pareto’s principles and parkinson’s law. (you can learn more about these concepts here (coming soon!))

You can only get things that are attracted to your energy.

Think of yourself and the things you want as magnets.

Since you can’t change the magneticity of anything other than you, the only thing you can do, is to change you!

Become just to become

Changing yourself, although could bring about reality changes, should not be used as a means to do so.

See what comes along as byproducts.

See making yourself a better person itself as the end, not the means to an end.

You are the biggest asset in your life. Start realising it and act accordingly.

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or if you’re new and would like to learn the other concepts, click here. Otherwise, explore other blog posts here.

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